


Hooker!Fic

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is a Perv, Crack, Drabble, Humor, M/M, Mind Reading, Prostitute Castiel, Prostitution, Relationship Negotiation, Roleplay, Sex Education, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-12
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-11 16:04:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/800560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Now, would you please instruct me in the proper way to perform fellatio?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hooker!Fic

**Cas:** Sam, can you teach me how to give a blow job?

**Sam:** What now?

**Cas:** A blow job. Dean thinks about them a lot, and I got the impression that you were quite proficient.

**Sam:** I was quite…?

**Cas:** Proficient, yes. He spends a surprisingly large  amount of his time thinking about your—what was the phrase? Oh yes—cocksucker lips.

**Sam:** My cock…?

**Cas:** …sucker lips. Yes. Now, would you please instruct me in the proper way to perform fellatio?

**Sam:** Why does this always happen to me?

**Cas:** You have taught this before?  Oh good. So you are experienced.

**Sam:** No! I…well, yes, but…

**Cas:** It is imperative that I learn this. For the life and happiness of you and your brother.

**Sam:** Oh god. Has Dean made you…do anything that you are…uncomfortable with?

**Cas:** No….

**Sam:** If you just say no to him, he will go away. Eventually. And no matter what he says, he will not die if he doesn’t get sex.

**Cas:** I don’t understand. Are you saying he wants to have sex with me? His thoughts are very clear on the fact that he would never cheat on you. He thinks there is no need, as the love he feels for you makes sexual relations much better than they could ever be with anyone else.

**Sam:** As uncomfortable as this conversation has been, I now realize it has been totally worth it. Tell me more about his feelings?

**Cas:** I cannot. It was shortly after I pointed out the purity and goodness behind those feelings that Dean forbid me to read his mind.

**Sam:** No, really?

**Cas:** Anyway, I know you are also loath to cheat, but perhaps you could give me some pointers?

**Sam:** Why do you need to learn this?

**Cas:** I have just had a conversation with Dean. He says our monetary resources are running low, and things are going to get desperate. Before you began sleeping together, Dean dealt with this by giving blow jobs in back alleys. As this would now be cheating, he is probably loath to do so this time. So I figured….

**Sam:** That you could give blow jobs in back alleys?

**Cas:** Yes.

**Sam:** You really don’t have to do that. We’ll probably just hustle pool. No need for any of us to become a hooker.

**Cas:** Oh. I see. But…I would still like to learn. For the sake of…science?

**Sam:** How ‘bout I talk to Dean and see how he feels about a threesome?

**Cas:** That would make me very happy. And maybe you could pretend I was a hooker?


End file.
